“What could you possibly want with my endorsement, Senator?” asked Bobby Beige, the weathered pop idol who was in the middle of his latest comeback tour with his singing group, “New Addiction”.
“Well, Bobby, you epitomize the demographic we want to one-time shock into the voting booths come this November. You see, most of your fans have no idea about politics, or government and how this country should be run. We’d like you to be our defibrillator, so to speak.” Senator Haley pedantically addressed (thumb atop half-clenched-hand-gesture included).
“What’s a defa-defu-bi…”
“Defibrillator; It’s a shocking device to get the heart pumping when a person goes into cardiac arrest. It’s a metaphor, Bobby.” The Senator’s split vein on his high taught-skin forehead began pulsating ever so slightly. Getting celebrity endorsements for President wasn’t going to be easy. He may have to fire (or make disappear) his newest campaign manager for concocting this Bobby Beige idea.
“You see, Bobby, a recent poll shows that your fans will pretty much do whatever you tell them to. Remember when you said in an interview that you loved your dog so much you wish you could eat him?” An “accidental” car crash would be one way to rid himself of his campaign manager, and maybe get him some sympathy pointsfrom the media…
“Yeah, I remember, but I didn’t want no one to go eatin’ their dogs. PETA’s still sending me death threats over that.” Bobby squirmed a little at the mention of the dog incident.
“No, no, son. I’m just asking you to use that kind of, shall we say, ‘mindless prompting’ to get your fans out to vote (for me, of course).” The Senator’s fists were fully clenched and getting sweaty at this point. There are poisons that can’t be detected.
“Alright, I’ll do it, but I don’t know shit about bringing anybody back to life with electricity, so make sure nobody asks me about it.” Bobby adamantly stated.
Maybe a raging housefire or accidental shotgun’s discharge during a pheasant shoot….
“Hey, Senator, what exactly is a ‘metaphor’ anyway?”